By STEVEN JUPITER
BRANDON—The Red Sox and the Yankees. The Sharks and the Jets. The Hatfields and the McCoys. Iconic rivalries beget iconic clashes.
And so it was at the 4th annual Vermont Trivia Championship at Estabrook Park in Brandon on Saturday, July 27, during the Brandon Carnival.
Though competitors from as far away as Minnesota threw their hats in the ring, it was, in the end, a local rivalry that ended up dominating the event, a rivalry forged on the unforgiving trivia battlefield of Brandon, Vermont. No one ever said eggheads were gentle people.
The championship was hosted, as always, by the formidable duo of Bill Moore, Director of the Brandon Rec Department, and Molly Kennedy, Director of the Brandon Free Public Library.
It was a gloriously sunny day, and the shade of the competition tent was a welcome respite from the blazing sun. The competitors filed in, claimed their tables, and unsheathed their claws.
There were the Quiz Masters (Joe Swahn and Kristen Harrison of Brandon), who triumphed at the event last year through skillful use of a classic trivia strategy: let the better teams take each out while you just sit and wait. Would that ploy work this year? Only time would tell.
There were also the local Red Hot Trivia Peppers, the local Moore’s Wh*res (we don’t name ‘em, folks), the Side Ponies from Hinesburg, the local Angry Children, the local Best Friends, the Flying Squirrels from Minnesota (just visiting!), the local Lucia’s, and Joe from Rutland.
But the true clash of the titans here was between the Hot Kamales and ‘Dentity Crisis, both iterations of teams that have dominated the brutal Brandon trivia scene for years.
The Hot Kamales were the winners of the inaugural championship in 2021. And they rolled into the tent this year wearing t-shirts bragging of that win. Confidence or hubris? We’d soon find out…
‘Dentity Crisis comprised serious players who had not competed together at this event before but who have been known to lay down good facts at local trivia contests throughout the year. Could they pull together to pull out a win? Odds were strong but you never know…
Members of these two teams had been circling each other at trivia nights for years now, alternating triumphs and losses, fighting bitterly and then hugging it out over beers at Red Clover.
The competition was set up in 7 rounds of 10 questions each followed by a final round of just a single question. One of the rounds had visual clues and one had audio clues.
The categories of the 7 main rounds were:
- General Knowledge (anything and everything)
- 2010s World History
- Name the Decade – Sports Edition
- 1990s Cartoon Characters (visual round)
- This Is the End (identifying songs by their endings – audio round)
- TV Guide Covers of the 2000s
- Iconic Toys
Each team selected one of these categories as their “double,” meaning that they’d get double points for every correct answer during that round, essentially asking each team to declare a strength. Surprisingly, five teams chose Round 4 (1990s cartoons), making clear that Millennials were in the house.
The questions were displayed on a large monitor at the front of the room and each team had 25 seconds to come up with their answers, which they wrote on erasable plastic panels.
Round 1 (General Knowledge) yielded the competition’s first “social” question—one that every team answered correctly—as well as its first “anti-social,” a question every team got wrong. The “social” was “What is the longest bone in the human body?” (ans: the femur or thigh bone) and the “anti-social” was “How many elements appear in the Periodic Table?” (ans: 116).
There wasn’t another everybody-or-nobody question until Question 2 in Round 3, when no team knew the decade in which Harvard and Yale played their first football game (ans: 1870s).
Round 4 (1990s cartoons), which several teams had selected as their “double” went very well for those teams who had Millennials on staff. For those teams that did not, the round was devastating.
Also difficult for many teams was the audio round in which the hosts played clips of the endings of songs and the teams had to identify the songs, the artists, and (for extra credit) the year of release. Two that were especially tricky were “What’d I Say?” by Ray Charles (1959) and “Sorry” by Brenda Lee (1960). The round included a bonus question that many got right: “Not Like Us” by Kendrick Lamar (2024), the infamous “diss track” that preoccupied social media earlier this year.
Round 6 (TV Guide Covers of the 2000s) had a “social” when every team recognized that the show that featured Big Bird and Elmo was “Sesame Street.”
Round 7 (Iconic Toys) had a “social” when every team recognized that the “Danish building blocks” referenced in the question were Lego. A fact that came out in the round that may surprise some is that Play-Doh was originally created as a wallpaper cleaner.
After the 7 main rounds, the standings were as follows:
10. Rob with 275 points (In all fairness to Rob, he played alone and had to identify cartoon characters from a decade when he was almost certainly not paying any attention. You go, Rob!)
9. The Flying Squirrels with 435 points
8.The Lucia’s with 440 points
7. Moore’s Wh*res with 455 points
6. The Quiz Masters with 510 points
5. The Red Hot Trivia Peppers with 550 points
4. The Side Ponies with 580 points
3. The Best Friends with 620 points
2. ‘Dentity Crisis with 650 points
1. The Hot Kamales with 660 points
So, as the dust of the main skirmish settled, ‘Dentity Crisis and Hot Kamales stood neck and neck, only 10 points separating the bloodied teams. Who would emerge from the battle triumphant? Would the titans stumble and open the way for a “lesser” team? Who would get to wear braggart t-shirts next year?
The category of the final question was U.S. States. Teams were given several moments to strategize their final wagers. A brilliant performance in the main rounds can be negated by a poor answer and/or poor wager in the final round. Teams must consider their knowledge of the subject matter, their placement in the final ranking, and the likelihood that their closest competitors would get the question right as well.
The final question was: “It’s the only state whose state bird has a major city in its name.” [See answer at the end of this piece.]
All but two of the teams got the question right, making the teams’ final wagers all the more important. Who came out on top? (The Angry Children and the Lucia’s did not participate in the final round.)
As the figurative smoke cleared, the conquerors, the victors, the triumphant trivia masters were the Hot Kamales…exactly one point ahead of their worthy rivals, ‘Dentity Crisis:
8. Rob and Moore’s Wh*res with 0 points (bet it all and lost)
7. Quiz Masters with 679 points (the strategy didn’t pay off this year…)
6. Flying Squirrels with 870 points
5. Red Hot Trivia Peppers with 950 points
4. Side Ponies with 1160 points
3. Best Friends with 1240 points
2. ‘Dentity Crisis with 1300 points
1. Hot Kamales with 1301 points
The Hot Kamales employed the leading team’s classic stratagem of wagering only enough to beat their closest competitor by exactly one point if that competitor were to bet it all and both teams answered correctly. The Hot Kamales guessed that ‘Dentity Crisis would bet the bank and answer correctly, so they wagered 641 points, which would put them 1 point ahead of ‘Dentity Crisis’s maximum possible score of 1300. Well played, Kamales. Well played.
The winning team received plastic trophies that made up in braggadocio what they lacked in physical heft. The second-place team received a hodge-podge of random objects that Mr. Moore had received from a relative and was trying to get rid of (Hershey’s coffee mugs, dish towels, a tiny cast-iron brownie skillet with brownie mix).
Hot Kamales member Tom Russell said he was “enthralled” by the win.
Teammate Emily Nelson said she was “ecstatic” as she held up her plastic trophy.
Teammate Mat Clouser said, “I was just happy to have beaten [‘Dentity Crisis member and local trivia wiz] Andrew [Cliver]. And that we get new t-shirts.”
Wiping sweat from his brow and tears from his eyes, ‘Dentity Crisis member Harry McEnerny said, “We came to win, and we gave it our best shot.”
Teammate Andrew Cliver said, “We left it all on the field.”
“We had good opponents,” said Mr. McEnerny. “They may or may not have stolen our answers.”
Like any pro athlete after a devastating loss, Mr. Cliver brooded over mistakes the team made.
“We said ‘57’ for the periodic table because we didn’t know and just guessed the Heinz ketchup number,” he confessed. “We also said ‘Silly Putty’ instead of ‘Play-Doh’ in the toy round.” Costly mistakes, ‘Dentity Crisis. Costly mistakes.
There’s always next year.
“It was a tough loss but we’re already in training again,” said Mr. McEnerny, balefully watching the Hot Kamales celebrating with their trophies while he held an empty Hershey’s mug like a Victorian orphan boy begging the headmaster for some gruel.
“Kamales, watch your back,” said Mr. Cliver. “Oh, and hi, Mom.”
Answer to final round: Maryland (the state bird is the Baltimore Oriole)
